💩 "A Case of the Poo-tastic Monday's." 💩

It started off as normal as humanely possible. Feeding 5 kids Wild Berry Pop Tarts, filling and refilling water bottles & sippy cups. Then plopping down on my "Momma Perch" (a chair and a half that is like jumping on the lap of a life size teddy bear)

As the 3 younger ones finished, the 2 olders sweetly played a game of "catch" with their England hats (from their Nanny), and a ball. Then one-by-one, the toddlers entered the room. The lone Pop Tart eater was the beloved Squish. Then, as she finished, Daylon got a wet paper towel, and helped me wipe off the jelly goodness, that had encrusted her lovely wrist rolls. We laughed, joyfully doing this task together. All 5 were playing sweetly together. Fun games of "chase me" and "watch this". Then, the oldest came to report.

"Momma, Edyn pooped!"

"Okay, buddy! Let's make sure she's done, then I'll change her!"

He runs off. Then right after he exits the room, Daylon enters.

"Hey! Umm Momma! Edyn pooooooped! It's stinky!"

"Okay, bud! Khai just told me, I'll come check her, and make sure she's done!"

As I'm walking towards the giggles, and noise in my bedroom, I spot the Squish. She looked up at me with a string of snot out the left nostril, and a toothy grin so wide, her chubby cheeks squinted her eyes nearly closed.

"Maaa maaa maaa maa!"

"Squishles!"

She was crawling, so I scooped both my hands under her belly, and flipped her onto my shoulder. She squealed with delight, and I reverse flipped her, as I laid her on the floor in her room to change that burn-your-eyes sensation that was caged in the beloved diaper. 

At this point, I felt like a rodeo cowboy trying to wrestle a baby calf into the perfect position, so I could get those two sides off, to begin inspection.

Then she, like a good Squishy calf, did a 180, and was belly down, trying to crawl away. That's when I saw it. POO ON THE CARPET. 

What the whiskers? Size 6 diaper, don't fail me now!!!

And then I saw it. The cute purple "Wilderness Safari" tshirt she was wearing, had a chunky green goo ALL THE WAY UP HER BACK.

"Oh no," I said audibly. 

"C'mon Squish! Time for a happy bathy!"

I gingerly scooped her up, and was holding her about a foot away from me, as not to smear anything, ANYWHERE.

I walk through the pile of kids, in the middle of my living room, and a game of 20 questions ensued.

"MOM! Why does Edyn have green pudding all over her?!"

"Momma! SHE STINKS!"

"Yucky!"

"Das gwoss!"

"Guys! She pooped, its all over, I need to give her a bath!"

I started rolling the tshirt inside itself, as a way to corral the stinky goo, then stripped of the leggings that are SO skin tight, they look painted on, then took off the diaper, threw it in a Walmart sack, and chucked it near the trash can. I used the nozzle, so I could get a steady spray going on, to act as the most efficient way to remove the goo that was all the way up to her neck. Poo goo was on my sink, on my counter, on my hands, and all the while, she just kept cheerfully jabbering, and smiling at me!

Then my oldest walks in the room. 

"Uhh Momma??? What. Is. that."

I could tell he was alarmed, but was too busy de-gooing everything. My ponytail tried slipping over my shoulder, into the mess. 

NOT TODAY. 

I swung my long pony tail, over my shoulder, and looked at my son. His eyes were the size of quarters. 

"What's what babe?!"

He put his hand over his mouth, and pointed towards me.

"THAT, on your shirt!"

"My shirt??"

I glance over my shoulder, and see it.

A streak of poo goo all.across.my.shoulder. 

How could this happen?

How does POO get on my shoulder???

Why is it in a perfect, 6 inch long line?!

Then my Mommy brain started firing. Remembering back a mere 6 minutes before, and retracing my poo goo steps.

Mommy.Stinky.Okay.Scoopherup. THROWOVERSHOULDER. Laughing. 

When I threw her over my shoulder, the diaper that had reached max capacity, gently oozed a perfect line that would make cake decorators jealous, onto my shoulder.

"At least my HAIR is in a ponytail." I thought to myself. 

Then that silver lining was quickly debunked faster than the two guys from Mythbusters, as I remembered it almost dipping into the watery mess, and I swung it over my shoulder. 

No, friends, not the poo-free shoulder.

I asked Khai to stand watch as I ran to my bedroom, tore off the goo dress, wrapped my ponytail into a bun (SURVIVAL MODE, PEOPLE), and threw on the closest tshirt, and skirt I could find.

I ran back out, finished hosing off the Squish, got her washed, dried, clothed, and snuggled, then laid her down for a Happy Nappy.

This all happened the first 26 minutes of me being awake. 

The hilarity of it all, is I've got something huge, spiritually, physically, and mentally starting tomorrow.

So today was going to be my "rest day" L.O.L.

But you know what? Rest day, or not, I'm going to choose Joy today! 

I'm thankful for warm running water, to hose off whatever human needs it, whenever we need it. I'm thankful for size 6 diapers from Sam's club, that hold *most* of our needs, when we, at all times, have 3 kiddos in diapers. I'm thankful for the honesty of a 6 year old. (Who KNOWS how long it would've taken me to notice!) I'm thankful for the squishiest, loveable Squish you ever did see! I'm thankful that I'm at home, and could take care of this mini emergency, in the four walls of MY nest! I'm thankful for the strength God gives me each day. This season is where I earn those Mommy stripes! If it were easy, I'd get bored. It's definitely NOT easy, and I'm NEVER bored! And finally, I'm thankful for Light Roast Hazelnut coffee, French vanilla creamer, and Hershey's chocolate sauce. So that I could make the adult version of chocolate milk, to ease me back to a state of Joy. It's a choice, folks.

I have people warn me that I'll miss this phase. And I know without a shadow of a doubt, I will. 

And for all the rest of you "Survival Mode" seasoners. I see you, I know how hard it is, and I promise to tell you you have a cheerio stuck to your rear, if you'll inform me of any goo on my shoulder. 

👊🏻👱🏻♀️

Choose Joy. Speak Life. And Keep Marching.

Our footprints are leaving a legacy for our kiddos to follow. May it be a Godly one.

Oh... and happy Monday, folks! 

Share with a friend who *might* need Survival Mode encouragement!